Pseudo-Zombie
by mk94
Summary: (My first Zombieland fan fiction./ M for language! /Amnesia!Columbus/ It's also an AU. Tallahassee x Columbus or Talumbus or Slash./ A three shot) Tallahassee, Wichita and Little Rock found a zombie who isn't quite like the others they are killing. Ever saw a zombie eating snowballs?
1. Chapter 1

**Pseudo-Zombie**

**Life savior:**

So….that is it, right? That's the way how Tallahassee is going to die. No ammo, other useful weapons broken and no goddamn Twinkie but stupid fucking Snowballs and dead zombies around him! Oh yeah, also trapped in an empty Shop with a broken leg and a zombie in front of him. Fan-fucking-tastic, really.

He will so NOT die like this. That zombie will see what it gets when it attacks him…

…any moment now…

…any…moment…?

Tallahassee, the name he called himself when he met the two girls Little Rock and Wichita, was watching said Zombie. Once used to be a collage boy it seems? Dirty curly hair, a yellow pullover with jeans also covered in dirt and blood. That zombie can be called happy for having still all its limbs.

It was strange that the zombie still stood there, watching him. Its eyes were different from the other zombies. While the others had empty grey and glassy looks in their eyes, this one's were shining green with curiosity. The redneck smirked at the thought. A curious zombie? His smirk vanished as the zombie slowly takes a step towards him. "It's going on now, huh?" he mumbles, making the other flinch. Tallahassee rose one eyebrow up, looking at the dead kid. "Scared?"

The zombie moaned and gave him chocking noises. It made itself smaller, crouching. Then it slowly moved nearer. "Don't ya dare…" Tallahassee growled, pleased that he was able to scare a zombie with his words. The dead person came to a halt. But then it moved again towards him. Its eyes then moved from the man's eyes to the sweets lying beside him. Tallahassee cocked his head to the side, irritated by the zombie. Said zombie flinched away by his movements and then quickly grabbed the Snowballs. Two or three packages were grabbed and Tallahassee could only stare at this strange creature crawling in safety distant away from him. Immediately the first package was open and the college zombie ate with large bites.

"Are ya even a zombie, boy?" he asked.

It looked at him, still munching his food, again making groaning noises. This time, when the kid moved towards the other, Tallahassee carefully took another Snowball and held it up to the other. The zombie cocked his head from this gesture and slowly was about to take it. "Come on…ain't gonna hurt ya… yet." He murmured, leaning forward to reach the other's hand. There were more moaning and groaning noises in the shop which were not coming from the one in front of him.

"Shit…" the redneck cursed, pulling his hand away. The zombie looked at him strangely. It then stood up and stumbled away. After few minutes of silence, the man sighed, "Well, on my own agai-"He stopped when he saw the same zombie stagger back to him, besides the Snowballs also large knives in his arms. His first thought was 'damn, a zombie want to kill me with knifes because it didn't get his sweets'. He chuckled at the stupid image.  
>As if.<p>

The zombie stood one meter away from Tallahassee, crouching and holding those knifes to him while looking at the Snowball still in the man's hand. "Ya wanna trade?" he asked amused. A chocking was his answer and the new weapons lied beside him. "Well, here ya go," Tallahassee mused, giving the zombie the fluffy sweet. "Ya know, I'll give ya an advantage of ten minutes, ya hear me?" He spoke quietly, the zombie looking at him with the same curiosity than before. "I let ya be, jus' because ya spare my life too, understand?" The zombie munched on his new traded Snowball, not seeming to notice the other beside him anymore. "Now piss off before I change my mind!" he hissed and shoved the zombie harshly away. It made hurt noises before looking at him again. It took another bite when the moans grew louder. It looked away to where they came from than back to Tallahassee. To the man's horror, the zombie made a loud moaning and gurgling noise. 'Stupid thing!' he thought angrily, feeling betrayed. The zombie nodded at him and stumbled away, still nodding.

Quickly, Tallahassee took his new traded weapons, kept quiet and alarmed. But the groans and moans and deadly noises cleared away. He waited for more thirty minutes when a sudden crash from the door was heard. "Tallahassee?" a female voice shouted into the shop. He sighed in relieve. "I'm here!" He answered, hearing feet stomping towards him. "Are you freaking crazy?!" Wichita snapped at him angrily. Little Rock ran towards him and hugged him tightly. "You stupid idiot…" she whispered. "Don't you dare ran off like that! You could be dead by now! Even you!" Wichita yelled at the man. To both the girls' surprise, the redneck just nodded and apologized. "Ya right, girl. Care to help me up?"

The older girl huffed and helped him up and all three made their way to their SUV. Tallahassee could be lucky that their previous destination was a hospital. His leg got treated and then they drove off. "Look at that! Want to shoot some dead people?" Little Rock cheered, readying her guns. "Forget it! Tallahassee will take a time-out!" Wichita snapped, ignoring the old man's whining. Little Rock smiled innocently, pointing her guns out her open window and shooting at the group of zombies. They laughed in glee by the falling infected. "Wait, not that one!" Tallahassee shouted suddenly, making the younger girl miss her target. Instead she hit a zombie beside the yellow sweater wearing one. But still both fall to the ground. "NO!" the man yelled. It was quiet in the car as they pass the group. Little Rock watched Tallahassee's look glued to the remaining group.

"Stop the car."

"What?" Wichita asked confused.

"Just stop the car!" he snapped back.

She stopped the car. When the zombies where nearing them, the man could see the one with curly hair and yellow sweeter, munching on white fluffy sweets. He sighed and smiled lightly. "Ok, drive."

**Hiding place:**

"What was that all about?" Little Rock asked, while eating some canned food. They found an old farm to spend the night in and because of Tallahassee's injury, also a few days. At least it seems save enough to rest there (no zombies, many useful gadgets as weapons and actually much food).

"What was what all about?" the only man asked back.

"You of all people would never spare a zombie's life-uh…undead life. Why?"

Tallahassee didn't answer right away, just cleaning his gun. Wichita came with the food and looked at them. "Something's up?"

"Tallahassee doesn't want to tell me why I shouldn't shoot that one zombie. I want to know." Little Rock explained.

"You know, that was quite interesting. What happened back there?"

"Nothing. Just that I want to shoot that one. Next time I will-"

"Nice try, idiot," Wichita interrupted. "You already acted weird when we found you in that shop. And then YOU of all people let a zombie walking around? What for?"

Tallahassee huffed defeated. "I let that one walking around because it did the same for me. Now ya know the truth. Happy?"

Both girls were looking at him shocked. "What a sec. That zombie didn't attack you?" Little Rock asked, irritated.

"No, it just wanted those," with that, he hold up the remaining Snowballs from Little Rocks bag. "It even gave me few knives to get more of them."

By then the sisters couldn't stop it and laughed.

"What!? It's true! If I didn't know it better, I would even say that this zombie called its human-flesh-chumping-friends away from me!" Tallahassee growled angrily.

"Sorry, but I only hear 'A zombie spared my ass, the most dangerous zombie killer alive'!" Wichita laughed, making the man growling louder.

"I think it sounds funny!" Little Rock laughed, "a zombie eating sweets…how is that possible?"

"I don' know. But it was really a scared little shit…" Tallahassee then chuckled.

"Ok, now that this is dealt with, here." The older sister spoke, giving them their bowls.

**Fight and invitation:**

"Why can't we move on!?" Tallahassee shouted angrily. "We're here for about five days!"

"Well, how about you ask your damn leg?! We can't just travel on with you injured!" Wichita snapped back.

"Hey, I'm still capabl-"

"Ok, if you think you can handle it, then come on! Drive the car!"

Damn. Tallahassee huffed annoyed.

"Thought so. Now do your watch, I'm tired."

_Two hours later…_

Tallahassee was bored. The girls were sleeping while he cleaned his weapons…again…  
>Moans, groans and other disgusting sounds could be heard. "Damn…" he whispered, making it over to a window. Like expected, a large group of bloody dead people were passing by. "And I have to be fucking invalid!" he whined. He could right then and there kill them all! And now that! The group stopped. They moaned and gurgled before two zombies moved towards the house. Shit!<p>

And before he could warn the girls, the intruders were there. With two clean headshots, they both fell down. He looked out the window…yup, now he had all their attention.

"What was that?" Little Rock asked, walking downstairs with her gun ready in hands. She saw the corpses on the floor, giving him a look. "Hey, don't give that look. I did nothin' wrong!" He spoke. She just nodded sarcastically and moved to the door to shoot another three dead. "Tallahassee you asshole!" Could be heard upstairs. Now Wichita is also awake. He pointed his gun out the window and shot them down. After few minutes, the remaining zombies were stumbling away. And before Tallahassee knew what happened, he saw the yellow sweater getting shot down. Somehow, it hurt to saw this one falling. It was quiet for a while beside the footsteps from Wichita. Ok, let's get these out of here, they're reeking disgusting."

Which meant that he throws them out because 'he had lure them to their hiding place' from the girls' view. "And suddenly I'm healthy enough to clean the mess up, right." He huffed. When he finished the cleanup in the front yard, the redneck heard another moan. He stumbled carefully towards the sound, finding no other than his previous life savior. "Ya again…" he muttered, watching the other whimper. It received only a graze on its arm clumsily stood up. "Look at ya, is playing dead your favorite game?" He chuckled as the dead kid hummed in recognition at him. "Yup, it's me. And you had your ten minutes." Tallahassee held up his gun to the boy's face. The other squeaked in surprise and immediately crouched into a little ball.

"What takes you so long?" Wichita asked from the house. Tallahassee watched the body in front of him a bit longer, then pulling his gun away. "Nothin'… coming..." He stumbled back to the girls. "I think it could be raining…I already put some buckets out." Wichita explained, walking back inside.

And she was right. It was raining heavily. The survivors were sitting around the fire, silently eating their food. They froze as the sound of a crashed bucket was heard. "Another one?" Little Rock whispered. "I think I know already…" Tallahassee said, moving to the front yard where the buckets stood. "I knew it."

Like expected, to buckets lied there and by the third one the yellow sweater wearing zombie was sitting and drinking from it hastily. "And? What is …oh no!" Wichita shouted, already about to kill it if it wasn't for the man holding her back. Little Rock came to them, watching the creature drink rain water. "Is that even a zombie?" She looked up to Tallahassee, "Is that the one you told about?"

The man nodded, "we should let 'im in."

"What!? Are you insane!?" the older girl hissed at him. "The last thing we need is a new mutated zombie in our place!" She gasped as she was looked at from the zombie. "You take care of the buckets, I take it in," Tallahassee simply said, heading back to the fire, rummage in Little Rock's bag and the walking out to the other.

"Hey, remember me?"

The kid looked up to him. It hummed at him. He held up the Snowball and smiled as the other's eyes were shining. It was about to take the package when Tallahassee slightly drew away. "Wanna eat it?"  
>There was no response, only the stare. He grew impatient, the rain is cold damn!<p>

Slowly, the kid reached for the sweet again. And again, Tallahassee drew it away slightly. The zombie stood up and the both stumbled back to the house. The girls walked to the buckets, avoiding the staggering zombie within two meters. "That zombie is strange…" Little Rock said as she put the buckets back into their position. "Like I said, surely a new mutation or something like that. I wonder what that idiot wants to do with it."

"I don't know. Maybe we can train it like a dog?" Both chuckled.

**New mutated zombie? :**

"I can't believe it that you're wasting our medics for a fucking zombie" Wichita said, glaring at the man who cleaned the wound on the other's arm. "Well, you're right. But a normal zombie wouldn't bleed red blood."

He held up the injured arm, the bloody wound clearly red. "Like I said, mutated."

"There's only one way to find it out." Tallahassee stood up, pulling the boy with him. "You two get the water buckets; our friend here will get a bath today."

The first part of the plan went smoothly; Little Rock and Wichita poured the water into the old bath tub while Tallahassee undressed the newcomer. At least he tried to. The boy shouted and screamed while punching around to escape the other's grip. "Stop it! Be a man and take yar fucking bath!" the man shouted angrily.

"We're ready!" The younger girl shouted from the bathroom.

"Ok! Then help me here!"

"Eww…no, it was your plan anyway." Wichita replied simply. He looked over to the younger girl who was blushing. "Ok, just get me some soap! I'll do the rest…"

Finally, the boy was in the tub. Beside the soap, Little Rock also brought shampoo and even an unused toothbrush with toothpaste. By the look Tallahassee was giving her, she simply shrugged.

While Tallahassee was washing the kid, the boy was brushing his teeth. They were surprised that he was able to do that. "Oh…looks like ya got some bad blow on your head…" he muttered, gently touching the right side of the head as he washed the dry blood away. That caused the other to hiss in pain. "Sorry, sorry…I'll be careful."

**New survivor! :**

The girls were sitting in the living room around the fire when Tallahassee entered the room, followed by the now very clean boy in too large shirts and jeans, obviously from the man's spare clothes. The old bloody and ripped clothes were thrown away. "Let me introduce you Snowball, healthy unbitten human." He spoke up, a hand gesturing to the boy. The boy growled annoyed.

"Seems like it doesn't like the name," Wichita chuckled. "When Snowball is now a human-" Little Rock was interrupted from another groan, "then I think that we should refer to it as he, right?"

"Right" Tallahassee agreed, turning to the boy. "Welcome to yar new survival group, Snowball-"

Now the boy hissed at him, giving him a clear glare. "Ok, no Snowball…"  
>"Why Snowball anyway?" the younger girl asked. "He likes them." The other answered holding another to the boy who quickly took it and literally swallowed it. "Now to think of it, how long was he around with those fucked up people?" Wichita questioned, all looking at the new comer. To see a zombie all skinny and pale is one thing but a normal person shouldn't look like this. The large outfit was hanging down like he has no flesh at all on himself.<p>

Suddenly, the boy walked towards Little Rock, his hand reaching out. Because of his lack of language and stumbling, it was easily forgotten that he actually was an uninfected human who caused Wichita and Little Rock to point their guns at him, ready to shoot. The boy immediately stopped, just looking at them and giving them a moan while looking back at Little Rock. More importantly, her hands, which had just moments before a paper bag of old chips. He then moved slowly back to Tallahassee and started to chew on his shirt collar. Something he seems used to.

"Okay…let's just put our guns away because this little spitfuck here," he received a weak glare from the boy," is still one of us." Tallahassee took the chips and gave it to the other. The boy took it this time carefully before eating it as quiet as possible. He hummed at the group. They gave him an irritated look but he just continued humming. Little Rock then replied with her own humming and chuckled as the boy slowly stumbled over to sit beside her. While she sat on an old dusty couch, he just sat on the floor, nearer to the firer. "Damn. That is pretty cool!" She chuckled and ruffled the curly hair. "We now have our own zombie-"

"Pseudo-zombie," Tallahassee corrected.

"Whatever…"

**Relearning and Names:**

While Wichita planned their route, Tallahassee and Little Rock had little fun with their new friend.  
>In these two days they realized that the new survivor had been living with less to no food or water while walking with the zombies. Quite logical, those dead cannibals only ate fresh humans and had no limit in energy. The boy only could have been able to eat for the next few days and also walking without a break? That could explain his chewing on his clothes when hungry and looking at Tallahassee to be allowed to eat. Seeing him taking a nap was heart breaking. He stood behind a door, hidden from the others and leaned against the wall to only doze for a while. Tallahassee quickly taught him otherwise. Pinning him down on the couch, tied in covers, the boy quickly fell asleep. Also the language-his language- was something to get used to. Ok, two hours of his 'speaking' already made Wichita screaming. "You're a human, you asshole! Learn our fucking language! Your noises are freaking me out!"<br>The new survivor disappeared for the next two hours. Two hours, without knowledge if he will ever come back. They sighed in relieve when Little Rock found him sitting at door, too afraid to walk in. He again was covered in blood and dirt again and he even glanced at the other man guiltily when he scolded him for running away.

"Say: I'm hungreeee…" Little Rock spoke slowly. The boy looked at her and moaned. Tallahassee chuckled as the little girl frowned, "Ok, let me try. Hungreeeeey…."

Another moan.

Both sighed. "I think it's better like this. If there are other people like us out there, they would kill him if he would be running around saying 'hungry'," Little Rock explained.

"Ok," Tallahassee replied, "Say: Heeeellooooo…Hello." He looked at his little friend, shaking her hand, "Hello."

Little Rock understood what the redneck wanted and also shook his hand, "Hello."

They looked back at the new comer. He was chewing on one of the strings from Tallahassee's spare sweaters. But instead of his 'I'm hungry' look, his eyes showed something like humor. He smiled just lightly and held up his hand and took the other man's. Little Rock and Tallahassee had wide grins on their lips when the boy shook the hand. He looked at the other man and nodded. Tallahassee started again, "Hello." And the boy replied, "Hhhhlooo…"

"Almost!" Little Rock cheered.

Wichita entered the room, maps in her hands, "Okay, guys, how about Columbus in Ohio as next destination? I know it's a long way but-"

"Columbus!"

The group went silent. The boy pointed at himself," Columbus!"

"So…you are from…Ohio?" Tallahassee asked.

The boy nodded quickly, pointing at himself, "Columbus! Columbus!"

The others began to laugh. Finally there was something to work with. They knew where the boy was from; the boy is able to say one word clear AND they finally had a name for him.

"Now we call you Columbus!" Little Rock announced, taking Columbus's hand, "Hello, Columbus."

"Hhhhllloooo…."

**Crush:**

"What do you want in Columbus?" Tallahassee asked, pulling a water bottle from an eager Columbus away. Said boy just accept it and was munching on some old cookies and glanced out the window. If it wasn't for his condition, they would have made remarks of him eating nonstop.

Wichita was driving the car with Little Rock beside her. "I always wanted to see the Columbus theatre, you know? Feeling like a real actor and stuff. But now I think it would help our friend here. Maybe remembering what happened to him? How he ended up living with zombies?"

"Hello, my name is Columbus…" Columbus said, smiling at the man. He sighed, lightly annoyed and forced a smile back, "My name is Tallahassee, hello." That kid is saying that sentence once an hour. Even if that's getting annoying, it was better for him to talk like them than speak like a zombie. At least there is one funny thing in his relearning. Tallahassee and Little Rock are quite battling like some married couple with first child.

"Hey Columbus, can you say 'Little Rock'?" the girl asked, looking back at the pseudo zombie. He just looked at her curiously. "No no, say 'Tallahassee'. You hear? 'Tallahassee'…"

"You both shut up." Wichita sighed.

Columbus made a happy choking noise (they somehow manage to understand few moans of his) and gave Tallahassee a cookie. "Uh…thank you."

"…you…'re…welc…welcome…" he chocked his reply with difficulties. Tallahassee smiled and ruffled proudly the curly hair. The boy blushed and looked away shyly, nibbling his own cookie. Little Rock looked at them and smirked. "Look at that, Wichita. Our friend Columbus here has a crush…"

His reaction was, in her view, really adorable. Columbus blushed deeply, shoved Tallahassee away weakly and looked out the window, avoiding eye contact with the others. "Stop making fun of him, kid."

"Oh? Tallahassee is returning the crush?" Wichita smirked.

"Ya're unbelievable…" the man huffed, turning to the boy and pulling his shoulder lightly to be able to be face to face, "don' listen to them, ok-"

He got slapped in the face. Tallahassee looked at Columbus surprised and caught off guard. He would have had snapped at the boy if he wasn't sniffing and making whining noises, fright in his eyes. "What was that for?" he asked calmly. The boy just crouched into a ball and was crying silently, hiding his face behind his knees.

"Now ya did it, Little Rock!" He glared at the younger sister, who was watching them worried. "I'm sorry…I didn't expect him to act like that…"

"No ya didn't."


	2. Chapter 2

**Shopping:**

They made a stop in a little town. The girls giggled while watching Tallahassee trying to keep their friend in the car. "I said, stay here."

The boy just shook his head, holding tight on the hem of the man's shirt. The redneck sighed defeated, took his weapons and went on. "Ya need new clothes anyway. Can't wear my stuff all the time, right?"

Instead of walking in some sweetshop like Tallahassee was planning to do, he walked after the girls with Columbus still holding on his shirt. "He looks like a duckling with his mother," Little Rock chuckled, making the man growl. Tallahassee found him few new clothes, actually forcing the boy to change in them. The girls laughed when they found Columbus all the time pulled into the changing rooms every time he tried to escape.

Finally, Columbus had new fitting clothes. They were still larger than his body but more fitting than the ones from the other man. "You know, Columbus was really adorable in your clothes," the younger girl spoke from behind. They watched the boy glancing at his new clothing in a mirror with great curiosity. Tallahassee smiled slightly, almost unnoticed. "Yeah, he quite was…" he said, before he realized what happened and Little Rock clapped her hands happily. "I knew it!" She looked up at the now furious blushing man. "No way…you're blushing! Wichita! You can't believe what I just manage!" She laughed, escaping the man's grasps. "I'll kill ya for that!" He yelled and ran after her.

Columbus was left alone. He just noticed his loneliness, moaning a call. He just shrugged and started to go after their noises. He then heard something.

"_Huuuummm….Huuuuummaaaaaaans…"_

He froze. His friends are in danger! He walked towards the calls and found a guy around his age, missing an arm. That guy looked at him, stumbling over to the boy. He threw up some blood. _"Huuuuuummmmann…."_  
>Columbus greeted back with his own throwing up (with help of his finger) and moaned back, "<em>Noooo huuuumaaaannnn…nnnnss….meeeee…"<em>

The boy looked at him quite irritated. They both just stood there, watching each other. "_mmmeeee…"_ the other replied then. They heard gunshots and the girls shouting. _"Huuummannnnnnsss….hhhhhhhuunnnnngrrrryy…..?"_ the boy asked Columbus. He chocked his rejection, still trying to convince that there are no humans. But the shouting told them otherwise. The boy just made gurgling sounds to send Columbus off and made his way to the fresh flesh. Columbus sighed and went back to the mirror where he stood before. Even as friendly one, his friends would very likely kill him if he approaches them. So he just waited to be picked up.

He heard the shots and shouts and the punches going down, and smiled happily when Wichita found him. His smile quickly left when he was shot at. "FUCK! Columbus, I'm sorry!" She screamed, running towards him. He just scrambled away, holding his bleeding shoulder. The rest went on instinct. He screeched angrily, showing his teeth to scare her and ran off. He hid under the cash register, trying to keep his whimpers quiet. Damn, why are the others not bothered by this. He saw few of his fellows just continue running even with shots in legs and chest as if nothing's there. Sometimes he's really envied them.

"Columbus! Columbus, where are you?" He heard his male friend. If the girl is already that aggressive, there is no way he showed himself to this one. So he crouched into his save position. It saved his ass so many times already. "Columbus! Where are you!?" Columbus stood still.

"There you are, spitfuck…" Tallahassee whispered when he found their injured survivor. He kneeled beside him, watching him carefully. He huffed when he noticed the teen was covered in vomit. What is he doing with his clothes all the time? "Hey, kid. Come with me."

The boy didn't move. So Tallahassee moved carefully closer and carried him bridal-style. Columbus didn't struggle and even cuddled closer to the man. Tallahassee brought him back to the car. He instructed the girls to not talk to him, that he is in shock. Then he left for the sweet shop. When he came back, he tipped the boys shoulder. "Hey, snowball."

The boys head snapped up and glared but immediately his eyes shined when his gaze fell on the sweets, Tallahassee had brought. Tallahassee drove the car while Wichita sat on the passenger seat. Little Rock just watched Columbus beside her eating his treat.

"I'm sorry…."

Tallahassee was silent for a longer while.

"It's ok. He still thinks of himself as a zombie…" he looked at her," just be careful the next time."

Wichita was shocked that the redneck wasn't bursting out. But she didn't say anything. He was right. Columbus still acted like he is an undead.

**Ohio:**

"Finally! Guys, we are in Ohio!" Wichita cheered, followed by the others. "Columbus!" Columbus shouted happily. They were traveling now for two month. After the shooting incident, the boy was for two weeks running after Tallahassee and only Tallahassee. After a while he started to trust the girls again which was a relief for all of them. They were also relieved to see their friend gaining some weight and developing his language. Both Tallahassee and Little Rock were disappointed when the first name Columbus said was not theirs. "Wichita! Forgive you..." he said ones and carefully hugged her. "Forgive you…"

At least, they're getting along again.

PANG!

They shouted in shock when Tallahassee lost control over their car. One of the wheels burst, and they crashed into a ditch. Columbus was the only one still conscious, for he always used the seatbelt. He looked at his friends; they seemed to be alright, only hitting their heads hard. The boy watched figures approaching. When he saw a tall figure with fancy hipster glasses, his mind snapped.

"_I knew it."_

"_What…?"_

"_I knew it! Don't you dare survive…"_

_With that the man with glasses swung the bat…_

Columbus screamed as he saw them moving closer. "Friiieeends! Heeeelp!" He screamed to deaf ears.

**Awaking:**

Tallahassee woke up to the sounds of light humming. "Wha' happen…" he slurred dizzy. He heard a female chuckle. "Well, you fell into a ditch, dummy. I'm treating your wound."

He groaned again. "Don' call me tha'…" he mumbled as he sat up. Tallahassee could already the headache coming up and his body felt sore. "Don't be like that…lay back on my lap!" She giggled by that. When the redneck glanced over to her, he stared in shock. "Stop hitting on me, I'm not a pedophile! What are ya? Ten?!"

"I'm 18! So I'm legal actually!" The teen chuckled, touching the chest of the man again. Before Tallahassee could punch her, two boys, around the same age walked up to them. "Stop playing around, Chick. Hello, new comer!" They greeted him. They both were armed with guns, while the girl picked up her shotgun, trying to pose like some model. The blond boy pointed to his bald friend. "That is Baldhead, my name is Mr. B and the girl here is Chick."

"Or Hot Chick, if you like~" she giggled, making the redneck shudder in disgust. Where are the others?" he asked. "We're here!" The girls shouted, running over to him. They hugged him short before the man asked again. "Where's Columbus?"

The group where irritated when the teens laughed. "You mean Curly? The faggot?" Chick laughed, flipping her blond hair around. "Boss is taking care of him!" Mr. B chuckled. "What are you talking about?" Little Rock whispered shocked. "Who is Curly?"

"The faggot! The boy who sat with you in the car!" Chick explained, giggling at how stupid the question seemed to her. "Stop calling him that, bitch!" Wichita snapped angrily. "Now where the hell is he?"

"He's here. Unharmed" a cold voice spoke up. Another young man appeared, cleaning his glasses with a cloth. Columbus was following him, his gaze locked to the ground. "Hey! Faggot Curly is back!" Mr. B laughed, walking over to the boy and ruffling his hair roughly. "Your hair is still as curly as back then." Columbus nodded stiff.

"And ya are?" Tallahassee snapped at the black haired teen. "I'm called Boss." He replied calmly. The man growled. Obviously a name to have the control here. "I'll call ya Worm." He said, looking over to the other boy. "Come Columbus, we're going." He turned around with the girls, heading for the car. "N-No…" Columbus whispered. The group turned back.

"My friends. …They… friends…" Columbus stuttered. Chick laughed, "what are you stuttering now? Should we call you 'Stutter Curly'?" Except of the leader, the teens laughed at the now blushing Columbus. "C'mon, Curly! You know we're just making fun!" He nodded ashamed, grimacing a smile. The girl turned back to the other survivors. "Beside, your car is down. You need some new wheels. Maybe we could help arranging some?" With that she winked at the redneck. Said man looked at his car, whined at it and agreed annoyed. "But then, we're out." He said.

**Two groups & Sins:**

"I so want to kill myself right now…I really pity Wichita…that Chick is talking nonstop!" Little Rock whispered to Tallahassee. They only are traveling together for three days now and the man and the girls are already going insane! It's evening now and they all are sitting around the fire. While Tallahassee would have planned some night watch and sleep time, this group doesn't seem to bother. "Party!" Boldhead cheered as he downed a bottle of some fancy red wine. "Give me some too!" Chick giggled, "I think the night is good for this," with that she gave a seducing glance at the red neck. He just ignored her and lowers his head to cover his eyes, secretly glancing at Columbus who sat with 'Worm'. Worm was reading something to him. He looked up then, asking Columbus something with his always serious expression. Because of the careless shouts from the teens, Tallahassee couldn't understand what they were talking about.

…

"Can you imagine why you survived till now? Why you're here?" Boss asked Curly after he read some phrases from the bible. He watched the boy shaking his head. "Because you got a second chance."

"Second chance?"

"Yes, a second chance. God, the lord, is forgiving you. Your sins may be forgiven…"

"…my sins…my sins…?"

"A boy lusting after other boys is a sin. Just like girls lusting after other girls also is a sin. Sinners don't survive in a world like this. You must prove to be worth for the Lord. Do you understand?"

He watched Curly blushing, glancing carefully towards that cowboy hat wearing man by the fire. Angrily, he pulled the boy on the collar. "Do you understand?" he whispered coldly. The boy looked at his feet. "…boy loving boys-"

"No, boys _lusting_ for boys…" Boss corrected harshly, shaking at the collar lightly.

"B-boy…" Curly started again carefully, "Boys lusting…after boys…sin…understand…" he nodded.

Boss leaned over to Curly and whispered into his ears, "The list…what happened to the list?"

"W-what?"

"Hey! Stop manhandling him!" Boss heard the other man shouting over. "Columbus, come here. Sit by my side, wanna eat dry-meat?" Tallahassee asked. Columbus shortly dared a glance at the man before quickly looking away, shaking his head. "No. I don't want to."

Boss smirked when Curly then went over to the girl, Wichita, to sit by her side and pulled an arm over her shoulders in an intimate gesture. She just looked at him confused but let him be, laying tiredly her head on his shoulder. "If you don't mind" she smiled. He just kept still, avoiding any eye contact.

**Bullying:**

They are traveling together now a full week. They found new wheels and could repair their car, which was transported by the other group's breakdown truck they were traveling with. The teens were partying their last night together with much alcohol like they did anyway.

But this time, those kids went too far.

Too.

Far.

Chicken was purring the bottle of vodka on Columbus face, trying to get him drink all up. He of course fought her off but was hold back by Boldhead and Mr. B. "C'mon Curly, stutter Curly! " Chick laughed, already drunk. "Don' be like thaaa'… just imaging that being a big cock and swallow your reward…" Columbus was crying and chocking by now, blushing in shame.

Tallahassee snapped. Just as Wichita and Little Rock. The younger sister pulled Chick away on her hair, ignoring her shouts of pain. Wichita pulled Columbus in a hug while Tallahassee took care of the boys. Boss/Worm just sat there, reading his bible. "Why do you keep let this happen to him?!" The redneck yelled at the boy. The black haired teen looked up, closed the book, took of his glasses to clean them and replied coldly, "Curly, explain."

Columbus panted lightly before answering. "Des…deserve punishment…for my sins…"

"What the fucking hell are you talking about?!" Little Rock snapped, regretting it when Columbus flinched. He just hugged Wichita tightly.

"Boy lusting for a boy…is sin. I deserve it…worth for god…" he mumbles.

Wichita's eyes widened. She glanced over to her friends who looked just as shocked. "Ya're treating him like shit because he's fucking gay?!" Tallahassee screamed at Worm.

"C'mooon…he's jus' a faggot…" Chick giggled up again. "Don' tell mey he's turned you faggotly too…" she slurred. She walks up to the man, holding him by his arm.

"Now listen up, ya slut, stop fucking with me or I will throttle ya to death. Clear?" He threatened her, dangerous look in his eyes. She pulled away, taking few steps back. He turns back to the other leader. "And ya. What the fuck is wrong with ya?"

"You have your ways of leading, I have mine." Boss replied.

"Now listen up, asshole!" Tallahassee shouted when suddenly Columbus was making strange noises. Both groups were looking at him. He ignored them, pulled away from Wichita and walked few steps away from the fire, searching something in the dark of the night. Then they heard them. Moans, gurgle noises and chokings. Before any of his three friends could stop him, he shouted out. Noises without words, moans and humming noises.

"What is he doing?" Mr. B asked afraid. "Shit, was he all the time-?"

"He was never a zombie. No keep quiet, he is just shooing them away-" Tallahassee tried to explain when Boldhead interrupted scared, "Shit! He is calling his friends! We're going to die!"

And except Tallahassee's group and Worm, the rest began to panic, arming them up. "We have to kill the faggot-!"

"Don't you dare, you wimp!" Little Rock growled, holding her guns up, keeping Columbus save. Wichita and Tallahassee followed. Before they did anything, Columbus turned back to them. "Run. Have to run." And then he started to run. "Wait you freak!" Boldhead snapped but Columbus just continued. Tallahassee watched Worm running after him, a baseball bat in his hands. "Not in my watch…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Memories…:**

Columbus was running and running, without caring were everyone else was. After a while he came to a halt. He has reached and old and abandoned construction zone, where there were many deep excavations . And with high possibility enough zombies there to walk around.

"Ok, enough of this shit. I don't care anymore…Where is the list?"

Columbus turned around to see…to see him again.  
>Fancy hipster glasses, Baseball bat.<p>

"Spit it. Where is the list?" Boss snapped.

"What? What list?"

"The list to stop this hell!" He screamed now. But Columbus didn't know. He doesn't know of any list that would help to-

"Stop, ya little asshole!" the other man approached them.

But it was too late. "Screw it!" Boss screamed and swung the bat, this time hitting him not on the head, but his chest with enough force to fall down into a pit.

"COLUMBUS!"

"_Boss, what are we doing here?" Curly asked, looking around the construction zone. He gasped as the other boy took his shotgun out of his hand gently. "Just wanted to have some alone time with you. I hope you don't mind?"_

_The college student blushed, and nodded shyly. "I want to ask you something…" Boss started hesitantly. "It's ok! You can ask me anything!" Curly shouted out, blushing even more. Boss smiled charmingly at him. "You once mentioned a list…to outfight the zombies-"_

"_Actually to just survive this place…" Curly chuckled nervously. He took out a little book, giving it to him. "Nothing much but…I'm still alive, right?"_

_Boss smiled at him._

"_You…maybe…want to ask something else…?" Curly spoke up, ruffling his hair. "Actually, I do." Boss said. "I wonder…are you gay?"_

_Curly avoided eye contact. He was now completely red. "M-m-ma-maybe…?" He stutters._

"_I knew it."_

_He looked back at boss, his smile gone. His eyes colder than ever._

"_What…?"_

"_I knew it! You faggot…you're freaking our group out! You are a threat for us!"_

"_I… I don't understand!"_

_Before the curly boy could reach his weapon, it was too late._

"_Don't you dare survive…"_

_With that the man with glasses swung the bat…_

The boy snapped his eyes open. He lay in one of these excavations, covered in dirt and blood. Blood?  
>He glanced around.<p>

_The first time he woke up, he was covered in dirt and blood and his head was throbbing. "SHIT!" was heard from above. He looked around. He must have landed on a zombie, which would explain the dead bloody body underneath him. He felt his little book in his hands, "Must have grabbed it when I fell…" he mumbled dizzy. Without knowing what he did, he put his book in the zombie's mouth and closed this. After that, he lost consciousness again._

He found a skull looking at him, mouth shut. He opened it, to find a little book. **His** little book.

_When he woke up again, he was surrounded by them. They were looking at him with their grey and empty eyes. He froze. He didn't dare to move. They stood there silently, staring at him. An old grandpa stumbled over to him. As he tried to move away from the old man, he his body aching and groaned loudly in pain. And then the man stopped. The boy watched him. He watched them all. Suddenly they started to groan and hum in unison. Not knowing what to do, he copied them. Then, the group turned around, walking on._

The college boy heard yelling from above. Then two men were falling, just inches beside him. But he didn't take notice of them…

_He shouted for them. His body hurts and his head doesn't stop throbbing. He moaned and cried in pain and despair. The group stopped and looking back at him. They waited for him. So he slowly stood up, coughing lightly from his cries. A girl around his age imitated him and walked over. The teens just watched each other. _

_And then, they all moved on to the next city._

Columbus looked at the two men fighting.

_His family learned that he was different. They got to know that their new comer wasn't fond of fresh meat. From time to time, they started to just wait for him to search for whatever he needed._

"Columbus! RUN!" The man shouted.

_He was walking around a shop and then found him. He just sat there, surrounded in food. The man stared at him, not moving. This one wasn't like the others. The other humans his family was fighting with were always aggressive, even when they were hurt like this person in front of him. But he just sat there, why?_

"They are coming!" the other boy whispered frightened.

_When the boy got his food and the man his weapons, he knew that this one was friendly._

**Coming back:**

Tallahassee threw the teen of the small cliff, falling with him. As they were fighting, Columbus just sat there, a little book in his hands. "The list!" Boss was shouting, trying to reach for it. But Tallahassee pushed him back to the ground. The both men threw punches as each other.

"_Grrrrrooooooaaaaaaaannn…"_

"Shit!" Tallahassee snapped as he saw few zombies running towards them. "Columbus! RUN!" But the boy didn't budge. "They are coming!" Boss whispered. They stopped fighting, carefully walking backwards till they reached the wall behind them. "We're coming! AAAHHH!" Chick screamed as she also fell down. The others followed, landing perfectly on their feet and with weapons ready.

Before any attack could start, Columbus shouted. He shouted his strange noises. The survival group was quiet. The zombies came to a halt irritated by the boy. He stumbled over to Chick. "Don't ya dare to touch me-!" She started to scream, which got the attention of the undead people again. But again, they were stopped by a choking and furious growl. Columbus turned back to the girl, glaring at her and harshly took the shotgun away. "That belongs to me…" he whispered. He then walked towards the zombies. "Rule #29, Buddy System." He spoke up. No, he didn't spoke up, he commanded. They all went into position, the girls with Tallahassee left from Columbus, Boss with his crew on the right from him.

Columbus watched the dead boy in front of him, blood flooding down his throat. Columbus loaded his gun, hold it up to the boys head.

And shot.

The Zombies attacked. The group fought back. Nobody knew how long they smashed heads and limbs away but finally it was over.

"Rule #2. Double tap." Columbus said, smashing his foot down on a dead person's head. The survivors did what they were told, shooting anyone, who was suspicious, again. They met in a crowd, looking at Curly/Columbus expectantly. He just took deep breath before stepping over to Boss. He held up his book. When Boss reached for it, the boy let it fall, grabbed his reached out arm, pulled him harshly over and hit their heads together. Boss fell to the ground, stunned. Columbus took his book again while rubbing his forehead and walked over to Wichita, Little Rock and Tallahassee.

"Don't you dare to follow us…" he spit, walking on and climbing out this pit.

**Back to life:**

"So, that means that your own group wanted to see you dead? Because of this?" Little Rock asked, sitting with Columbus in the back seats while Tallahassee drove the car and Wichita was reading the book.

"No, actually I was the nerd and freak from the beginning. They freaked out even more that a…a-a faggot like me survived that long…"

"Stop calling yourself that!" Little Rock snapped.

"S-sorry…"

"Stop apologizing!"

"S-sor-I mean…ok…"

Wichita looked back at them, "When I think about it, your list is good. I mean, really good."

"Thanks…Boss thought there is something against the whole virus and such. He never understood that this is just for survival." Columbus explained, taking back his book and scribbling.

"What are you writing now?" Little Rock asked.

"New rules I learned while traveling with you."

"As there would be?"

"Rule #32. Enjoy the little things."

"Hey!" Tallahassee cheered, "That's from me!"

The group laughed with their happy redneck.

**New Family & Crush2:**

It had been three days now that the groups parted again and Columbus received his memories again. The boy explained his live with the former group, explained what caused his amnesia and told stories of living with zombies. "You know, it's actually freaking awesome that you can speak Zombie-language" Wichita said. They were sitting around their fire, hidden in an abandoned house. Tallahassee and Little Rock were sleeping, even cuddling and snoring together.

"I can't believe it either. I just kind of learned" Columbus replied shyly. He fumbled with his book, his shotgun neatly beside him.

"Something is on your mind."

Columbus looked up to the girl. "W-well…it's nothing much, just thinking, you know?"

"About what?"

"Uhh, thinking about plans. You see, I don't have much. I actually wanted to ask you if you could give me a bit of your supplies and then I'm off-"

"Off? Why?"

Columbus shrugged nervously, "I just…I mean you all saved my life. But I don't want to be a bother. I don't want you to feel responsible just because I'm with you now…"

"Stop talking shit like this. You are absolutely staying with us!"

"Really?"

"Really. Columbus, you are part of a family now. Our family."

The boy looked down, blushing. "Thank you."

"Now that this is cleared, what do you think of Tallahassee?"

"Why do you ask?!"

Wichita smirked at him, "You know why. So, have a crush on him? Don't deny it! You know we are ok with your likings and Tallahassee…well, he IS hot…"

Columbus was completely red when he answered in a tiny whisper, "ok…I kind of like him. He…is…hot…" with that he hid behind his book while Wichita had to stifle her squeal.

**Three weeks later:**

"Don't peek" Little Rock commanded

"Ok, ok…" Columbus chuckled, keeping his eyes closed. When he was told to open them, he found a rolling suitcase. "Tadaah!" The group cheered. "For me?"

"You said you need more stuff, sooo…" Tallahassee gestured to the suitcase.

"Thanks guys!" Columbus then walked over to the girls, hugging each one and then turned to the older man to stop in his act and coughing nervously and hit his chest softly in a friendly manner. "Now I'm hurt." The man chuckled, pulled Columbus in a hug and kissed him passionately. When they broke the kiss, Columbus was gasping for air. "Y-you…you.."

"Wichita told me. I have to say that I'm not opposed to that."

The younger man glared half hearty at said girl, who was together with her sister smirking at him, and smiled at the other man before hugging him.

"As long as I don' have to be the girl, I'm fine…" Tallahassee whispered in his now-lover's ear.  
>Said boy blushed heavily before nodding shortly.<p> 


End file.
